Your Questions.

8 Dec

So time to answer the questions i got!  Thank you to everyone who sent me one 🙂

How does it feel being bullied?
Its hard to explain. Its really upsetting, and it just makes you feel like you’re not good enough, and like you’re alone and no one likes you or wants you, it feels like everytime they say or do something to you your emotions are just building up.

What would be going through your head when these people were bullying you?
That you just need to get away, or you question whether what they are saying is true. When i get bullied i just get really scared so i have worries of what they could do going through my head. It’s different for everyone really 🙂

How did you deal with the effects of bullying?
I think the biggest thing that helped me deal with the effects of bullying is counselling/therapy, and knowing that if i get through this i can help other people going through the same thing. And writing about it helps me too because its just like a release for me and it may help people at the same time.

What after effects has it left?
The biggest after effects are being diagnosed with depression and anxiety because of the bullying, i get so nervous about leaving the house that i decided to leave school because i thought that i would be away from the bullies if i left school but i was wrong. I have lots of scars too that might never go away which are from self harm which i started doing because of the bullying. And its left effects in my family too because i became suicidal because of what some horrible people said/did to me, its sad.

How are you planning to fully forget it (If you ever can)?
I don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully forget it, i don’t think i want to fully forget it either because it’s changed me so much – in a good way, its made me a better person. But i think that by going to therapy i’m trying to make the pain of going through it less intense.

If you could go back and change what happened would you?
Urm, in a way i would and then in another way i wouldn’t. I think i’d change it because it stopped me doing so much, i didn’t really have a childhood and if i could go back and change it i’d get the childhood back but i know that’s impossible. But on the other hand i wouldn’t want to change it because i’ve met so many amazing people because of my experience with bullying and if i went back in time and changed the experience i might never of met them. Also its made me a better person, i understand people a lot more and want to help people.

If you ever met the people who bullied you today, what would you do?
I do see the bullies today, i don’t speak to them, i just wonder if they realise how much pain they’ve caused me and i wonder if they knew that they’d put me through this would they change? And i’d love to ask them how they would feel if when they had children their child told them they were being bullied.

What would you change about how bullying is acted upon? (How would you make sure bullying stops)
I don’t think we can ever make it be stopped fully, but i hope that one day it will be made illegal because that’s what i think should be done. And i think that if there is a bully in a school they should be made to leave instead of the victim having to move schools.

Why do so many adults brush off the worries and concerns kids have when it comes to getting bullied?
I really don’t know, and its sad that they do this. Maybe they just don’t want to accept that someone is hurting their child? Or maybe they just don’t understand or don’t know what to do.

How can we make them see we are asking for help because its so bad we cant handle it on our own anymore?
Maybe you could write a letter explaining what’s happening? Or you could get someone to talk to them for you or be there with you while you talk to them.

What is the best way to stop a bully in its tracks?
Maybe make them aware of what pain they could cause the person they are bullying, maybe they don’t realise what they could cause the victim to do. Or make them know that there will be consequences of their actions.

What can we say during the bullying that will make them stop and leave us alone?
Hmm i’m not sure about this one, i tried just telling them to stop it once but they just mocked me and carried on. I’d just get a teacher to speak to them on your behalf.

How do we build up confidence after having our feelings hurt?
I guess therapy/counselling could help with this, but it takes time and motivation, but you’ll get there if you want it enough, but if you don’t have the motivation it will be much harder.

What are some ways to help others that are going through the same thing?  How do we reach out and make a difference?
Make them know they aren’t alone. I always like to tell people the celebrities that have been bullied. There’s lots of different ways to make a difference, you could tell your story in something like this, you could make anti-bullying videos, you could do fundraising for an anti-bullying charity, you can volunteer for an anti-bullying charity, ah there’s loads more 🙂

How do we get help when there are dead ends everywhere?
If you are trying to get help from someone and they don’t seem to care or understand try and find someone else who will be able to help you more.

Do you think the parents of the bully should be held accountable?
No definetly not, the bullies are the only people that should be held accountable, and they shouldn’t be able to get away with it but i know that most of them do and they just live their lives like they’ve done nothing wrong, this needs to be changed.

How has the bullying experience changed you as a person?
It has made me a better person, and a more understanding person. I’d never hurt anyone because i know what its like to be hurt and i just try to understand what people are going through, instead of judging them.

Who was there to help you?
Teachers were there but i can’t say they helped me but they did try. I tried to get help from my friends in school but they were scared that the bullies would start bullying them too so they couldn’t really help me. I’ve had loads of contact with helplines like samaritans and childline who helped me a lot.  My therapist has been trying to help me too, and she’s never ever given up with me – she’s amazing. But the people that have been there to support me the most are people off twitter, i’ve met some amazing people on twitter and they’ve been with me every step of the way, i owe them a lot, don’t know where i would be without them.

Did you ever find out why they were bullying you?
No, i don’t think they had a reason. I think maybe because i was quiet and i never spoke out they thought i was an easy target.

What do you think could be done to prevent bullying happening anywhere?
I think it should be made illegal, but i doubt this will stop everyone doing it, some people will still carry on sadly.


8 Responses to “Your Questions.”

  1. Hope December 8, 2011 at 5:59 pm #

    You are so strong hunny, keep moving forward ❤

  2. mattdsgns December 8, 2011 at 6:43 pm #

    Amazing. That’s the only way to describe what you’re doing.

  3. scillysnowprincess December 8, 2011 at 7:23 pm #

    Thankyou for doing this. I know of one of my friends kids who I am going to show this too, as she is still bullied at school.

    • hiddenbeth January 5, 2012 at 8:23 pm #

      thank you 🙂 i hope it helps them xx

  4. Jenna December 8, 2011 at 11:13 pm #

    Hi Beth,
    Thanks for sharing your experiences with bullying and helping others who are currently being bullied. I especially love your answer that you feel you have been able to make something good happen out of your experiences. You are a kind and sensitive person and are so helpful to others.
    I agree that there is often no obvious reason for a person being targeted by bullies – but for sure it is not the victims fault.
    You are awesome.

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