One Big Step.

18 Mar

Next week i have to take the biggest step i’ve taken for a while, i’m starting a course to get training for a job.
Just thinking about it makes me want to cry because i am so nervous!
I don’t even know if i’ll be able to go at the moment because my anxiety is so bad. I’ll just burst out crying when i get there otherwise.

I am comfortable with the place where the course is because i have been there before, but i don’t know the people. If there is someone there that i know i will be fine, but there probably wont be.

I was hoping to get some medication to control my anxiety before i go, does anyone know of anything that would help?

I really want to do this course but i am just so scared of other people because of what happened when i was in school, i know that it wont be the same as school but there could still be horrible people and that’s what i’m scared of.
I don’t want to carry on like i am anymore because i’m tired of not doing anything because of how people have treated me. I want to prove the people wrong, and show them that i am going to make something out of myself, and i am going to get somewhere in life, even though they did try to stop me.
They carry on their lives like nothing happened and they forget about me, i want to carry on my life and try to forget about them, i know i probably will never fully forget about them, but i want to try.

I just really hope that the other people don’t judge me like people in school did. Yes i am quiet but the more i get to know you the louder i become.

This is such a massive step for me if i do actually do it!

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5 Responses to “One Big Step.”

  1. Hope March 18, 2012 at 10:55 am #

    You can do this hun! Show them that you can conquer the world even if they said you wouldn’t. I believe in you hun ❤ x

  2. mattdsgns March 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm #

    Good luck! 🙂 Bite the bullet and do it. You’ll feel amazing afterwards.

  3. Rhi March 18, 2012 at 3:32 pm #

    You really can do it 🙂 it’s time to leave those from you’re past behind you. I believe in you and know you can achieve whatever you want, good luck 😀 x

  4. oaktreeclinical March 20, 2012 at 7:17 pm #

    Behind you, Beth. Keep us up to date, ok?

  5. Lyndalee Dustycress (@southpawokpoet) March 25, 2012 at 6:27 pm #

    I’m sorry I missed the oportunity to post of my faith in you, but here it is . You have already done it, proud for you. rest gently please.

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