I know at times the World can seem horrible and it seems like you are in this alone but please believe me, things can change.
One of my favourite quotes is “Darkness only exists so you can see the stars shine”, i used to have a diary that i’d write in or just read when i was feeling low, it wasn’t a proper diary, it was full of quotes that i liked and that meant something to me, this being one of them.
It can seem like everyone is against you and there is no one out there who really cares, but really there is, and most of them still keep their eye out for me now, whether that be on twitter or on this blog, they like to hear from me and know that i am doing well, and you know, that feels great, knowing that they’ve been there through my low and dark moments, but that they are also here with me through my higher moments too! I know things aren’t always going to be good everyday but you just have to look for the bits that are good in each and every day.
All of you people who read this blog have seen my posts when i may not of been in a very good place, but now i’ve turned things around, one day i just decided that it’s my life, and i can do what i want, why should those people who made my life miserable continue to even when they aren’t around me anymore.. i’m not in school anymore so why carry on the emotional pain? Why should they have control over how i feel and over what i do with the rest of my life? It may sound easy, it wasn’t, it was such a hard decision to make, to just stop letting this pain take control of my life, to actually get out of the house and to socialise, which is still so VERY SCARY!
I may not be 100% better but i’m on my way there, i’m happier, and guess what, i don’t self harm anymore either! That was one of the hardest things, trying to stop an addiction, because it is an addiction, whether people agree with me or not, it’s an addiction just like being addicted to drugs, you think about it all the time, you need it all the time.
My mental health is still not great, my medication gets changed regularly until they can find something that actually works, i’ve lost count of how many different medications i’ve been on now, but it’s all just part of my journey 🙂
I’m not angry at those who put me through what they did, i’m glad i went through it, it has made me stronger and more aware of other people and how they could be feeling, it has made me want to help others and do more to help stop bullying and those who might be going through it.
If i can ever be of any help to anyone please just let me know, and please, stay strong