Faded The View Of Myself

3 Aug

Hi guys!

I just wanted to post about life after bullying, obviously this can vary depending on everyone’s different experiences but I just wanted to make people realise the affects of bullying, not only are there serious effects on the person during the bullying but this could affect the individuals future after the bullying too!

I would love to one day forget all those nasty words that were said, but I am still living in the picture they painted of me, that ugly, fat girl. I often cry when I look at myself in the mirror as I am disgusted with what I see standing in front of me. The bullies have faded the view I have of myself, 4 years on and I’m still struggling.

My low self esteem affects me everyday, I just want to feel pretty and good enough for myself but I can’t see that ever happening, I am so unhappy with the way I look. My boyfriend is very good and supportive with me, he tells me I am beautiful but I just can’t see it, I feel so ugly all the time, and I have to admit I take a lot of pictures of myself to try and make myself feel pretty, and to try to say to myself ‘oh that’s a good picture of me’ but I just don’t see myself anything other than ugly.

It’s horrible to think that’s it’s been 4 years since I left school and I’m still letting it affect my life, but those years of bullying have really affected me and probably always will in some way!

Sorry for the negative post guys ❤️


2 Responses to “Faded The View Of Myself”

  1. Vanessa-Jane Chapman August 3, 2016 at 9:47 pm #

    That’s understandable Beth, it doesn’t matter how many times, or how many people tell you you’re beautiful (and you are), it doesn’t change what you really believe about yourself because of the bullying. Even if right now you don’t believe that you’re physically beautiful, you know that you’re a good person, so focus on that, focus on how beautiful you are inside because inside beauty radiates out.

    People say you have to move on from things, and of course you do, but things that happen are all part of making you who you are, for better or worse, and I think you have to come to some sort of acceptance that that’s how things are rather than beating yourself up about the fact that you haven’t fully moved on from it. You say “I’m still letting it affect my life” as if that’s your fault, you’re not letting it, it just is. The more time passes, the more you will move on from it, but allow yourself to heal at your own pace. Give yourself a break 😉

    Big hugs my lovely xx

    • hiddenbeth August 4, 2016 at 11:25 am #

      Thank you for your comment lovely, you’re kind words mean a lot ❤️

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