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Nobody can hurt you without your permission.

21 Feb

Hey guys!
It’s been a long time since i’ve posted so this one is very much needed!
I hope you’re all doing okay, i’m sorry i’ve been so quiet, just been really busy with college! I am always here though, if you ever want me or need me, i’m only a message away ♥

I just wanted to write a post with a bit of advice really to those readers who may still be being bullied, or those who are still struggling with the bullying that was in their past.

I know how hard it is to get those comments, and how hard it is to get up everyday just knowing what you are going to have to put up with today, how hard it is to see those people who bully you, how much anger you have for them. Believe me though when i say this, in the future you will be thankful that they put you through what they did, because what they are doing is only making you stronger, and i know this may sound absolutely stupid, but take it from someone who has been there. You may feel so low and so sensitive, but when you come out of this, when all this finally stops, you will be so much stronger, and you will be such a good person, if you let yourself be. You’ve been through this pain, you can say “i don’t want anyone else to go through that” and you can be such a kind person, not judge anyone and not say a bad word to or about anyone, i know right now you won’t be able to see any positive in what you are going through, what you are going through shouldn’t be happening, and more needs to be done to stop it.

Those names they call you, they aren’t true, you’re beautiful, everyone is beautiful, everyone is unique, don’t listen to what they have to say, do they even know you? Have they been your friend, do they know what you are like? Or have they just judged you and decided it would be fun to make your life miserable? I still don’t understand how these people can do this, i mean.. why would you want to call somebody names so that they feel so bad about themselves that they want to change.. they don’t feel good enough for anyone anymore.. i just don’t get it.. I know people say it’s because they have their own problems or that they have low confidence about themselves but.. no i still don’t understand,

Believe me when i say you are good enough, you deserve to be happy, you deserve a great future full of happiness and nothing like this. I know it’s hard at the moment, but things get better, and i really do mean that! I’ve been in your shoes, i’ve been so low that i didn’t want to be alive, i’ve starved myself because these people told me i was fat, so i needed to change right? WRONG! We don’t need to change ourselves, these people will never like us and will never be our friends, so why should we change ourselves for them? We’re great just the way we are, and anyway.. nobody is perfect, not even them!

Just remember guys, you do matter and you are so important!
And things will get better, the future is bright although you may not be able to see the light yet ♥

I’m always thinking of you guys, and i’m only a message away,
Stay Strong,
Beth xxxx

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New Start

6 Sep

I have some news 🙂

I started college this week, i was so nervous, i didn’t know anyone, i’ve never been there before so i didn’t know my way around etc,

I can’t let the people in my past control my future, i want to have a job and a life, and i have to make a new start to be able to do that, i’m not going to be able to forget what happened to me, but i just have to stop letting it control me.
So i’ve started college, on a course that i want to do, something that i’m interested in and something that i want to work in, and i’m going to work so hard, and try my best, my concentration and memory is still terrible due to my mental health but i can only try!
The college has a lot of support services aswell, i’m going to look at seeing a counsellor just so i can get a bit of extra support and talk about my worries etc.

My first day was so scary, but i made it!
If i can do it, you can do it too!
Be strong!

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”

Stay Strong, you’re so important and you can make it through this ❤
Love Beth xoxo

new day

Memories.

17 May

Today i went to pick my friend up from the school that i went to, i’ve never felt so sad before, all the memories just came flooding back to me, i had tears in my eyes, just thinking about how much pain that place gave me.

I’m still so upset, i can’t think of any positives that the school gave me, everything i went through there made me so ill. That is where i started self harming, that is where i walked out to go to the nearest bridge to jump off but my mum got called to come and get me.
They didn’t know what i was planning, they just saw me walk out early and got worried, so they called my Mum to get me.

That place was a horrible place, with horrible memories, and horrible people. 

It didn’t just make me sad, it made me angry too, thinking about all of the teachers there that ‘cared’ about me, well that didn’t last long, as soon as i left, they stopped caring, never called me, never asked about me ever again.
I actually went back inside today, to see if teachers asked how i was etc, but no, nothing just hi, that’s it.

I wish i could write the school a letter, tell them everything i went through during my time there, how i am now, how i can never wear short sleeves again, how i have ended up in hospital a few times due to suicide attempts. They don’t know this is all because of what i went through in their school. They don’t know who else could be going through the same things that i went through in the school. I don’t want anyone else to go through this, in that school, or in ANY school, workplace or ANYWHERE, because don’t you know, bullying doesn’t just happen to young people, it can happen to anyone, any age, any race, any religion etc. 

I hope you like this post, i just tell the truth, i’m no one special, just someone who wants to make a difference and be heard.
Nobody should go through this.


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Please spread this post!

What Teachers Have To Say

15 May

Hey!

So the Record Of Achievements is coming up at schools, so people are preparing, and teachers are giving advice on how to behave and how to act, dress etc.

I got told today that one teacher said that they didn’t want anyone self harming before the ROA because it will look bad for the school and the pupil. Now that has upset me so much and made me so angry!
Why should they care more about how the school looks, they should care more about the pupil and getting them help to stop the self harming!

I’m coming from a personal experience, i’ve self harmed for so long, i was self harming when i was in school and i never got the help that i needed, and i still don’t have the right help, but i’m getting through it myself.

I can’t even explain how angry i am hearing that this teacher has said this!

 

ImageI found this picture on google, because people don’t realise how hard it is to get through self harm, how alone it can make you feel, how much of a struggle it is, but we are fighters, and we are strong, and we can beat this addiction.

Please stay strong.
If you have any questions, advice, suggestions or you’d like to talk or anything please feel free to email me missbeth94@hotmail.co.uk
Also, please comment below and let me know what you think! Are you annoyed too by reading this?

Questions & Answers.

19 Mar

Hey!
So i know i’ve done a post like this before but that was a long time ago so time for a new one!

I’m going to do another question and answer blog post, so if you have any questions you want to ask me about bullying and its affects (e.g self harm, depression, anxiety etc), things about school, the support i got or the support thats available, about what’s helped me and what’s not, and anything else you can think of really!
If you can think of any questions please send them to either missbeth94@hotmail.co.uk or @Hidden_Beth and please share so that other people can see too!

Thank you!
Stay Strong

Have You Signed?

9 Nov

Please take a look at this petition by Red Balloon http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/26152

It is so important to have alternative education for people who are being severely bullied, and i just know this would benefit so many people. So many young people are not attending school because of the bullying they encounter, and this affects their view on the future, but if these young people were to go to alternative education and see how different it is from school, and how the people there are different and how they are treated differently this would help them so much, and would help to change their view on the future.

From personal experience, when i wasn’t attending school i got into a cycle of never leaving the house, because i was so scared and so hurt, i didn’t want to see these people who bullied me, and when you get into a cycle its so hard to get out of, i attended school sometimes but my attendance was terrible,  i used to say that i was ill all the time, and when i was in school sadly i had to take something with me that i could use to self harm, and if something happened and somebody said something to me, i’d go to the toilets and cut myself, nobody ever found out. I used to go to school and just think of all the ways i could kill myself while i was there, i knew there was a train track near by, and also a bridge, i couldn’t stop these thoughts and urges, and they stopped me being able to concentrate on my work.

So this petition is very important to me, and i know that if i knew about the Red Balloon Centre’s when i was younger i would of benefited from them so much.
So please do sign this petition, and please share this.

Thank you so much.