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Every Moment Matters

31 Jan

Hi Guys.. It’s been a while!!

Thought i’d do an update so you guys know how i’m getting on 🙂

 

There’s a lot to update on.. so here we go..

I am so happy, that’s right, i, me, i never thought i could be this happy, i am so lucky. I am so lucky because i have come so far and i have made it this far, not on my own, with the support of you guys, my family, my friends, the people around me, i have made it through a lot of bad stuff as you guys know, and do you know what, i don’t regret anything i have done or been through as it has made me who i am today.

I am still working as a support worker with the elderly, i love my job, yes it is stressful and demanding in all ways, but i still love it, i work for the moment of happiness i can give people, and i work to put a smile on their faces. I went to a lady the other evening and she wanted to get into bed, i assisted her with this, and do you know what she said to me.. she said ‘why can’t they all be like you’ and then the tears came, she said that about me!! I couldn’t believe it!! I gave her a big hug.

I am in a very happy relationship, i am living with him now, i am so in love, he treats me so well and is so supportive of me, i am so lucky in all ways.

I believe that everything that happened tested me, and i nearly gave in, but i made it through it all, and i am so glad i did.
Thank you so much for reading this! 🙂

STAY STRONG! ❤
Beth

It’s okay to be a glowstick, sometimes we need to break before we shine.

Mental Health Services..

11 Jun

HI GUYS!! How are you all doing?
It’s been.. a long time..

I’m doing great.. 😀 i have a job.. well.. i’m waiting to start my job.. but i got it!! YAY!! I didn’t get into university BOOHOO! But i’ll try again next year, i’m being positive 🙂

I’m in a ranting mood, i seen another blog post by my lovely friend Natalie (http://thingswillgetbetteroneday.blogspot.co.uk/) about mental health services.. and well.. that put me in a blogging mood because i just think people need to talk about how they feel the mental health services do.. and well.. they aren’t doing great. They are failing so many people, although they help so many i know, they also don’t even look at some of us.

I was with CAMHS until i was 18, recieving support once every week, which was great and so helpful at the time, but as soon as i turned 18 i had to leave and was referred onto adult mental health services, i had an assesment with them where basically they said they couldn’t help me, i left in a shock, i’d gone from getting support once a week to absolutely nothing! This didn’t help at all, infact it made my mental health worse for a short while, as it was hard getting used to the whole no support thing..

I think they need to set something up for those people who are just leaving CAMHS, maybe if adult mental health services can’t offer them anything, they need to put something in place so they don’t go from having loads of support to having nothing.. does that make sense? It could push people off the edge, to have such a big change, especially when these people have no support elsewhere..

Does anyone agree? 🙂

Love and hugs to you all ❤

Beth xxxx

 

New Start

6 Sep

I have some news 🙂

I started college this week, i was so nervous, i didn’t know anyone, i’ve never been there before so i didn’t know my way around etc,

I can’t let the people in my past control my future, i want to have a job and a life, and i have to make a new start to be able to do that, i’m not going to be able to forget what happened to me, but i just have to stop letting it control me.
So i’ve started college, on a course that i want to do, something that i’m interested in and something that i want to work in, and i’m going to work so hard, and try my best, my concentration and memory is still terrible due to my mental health but i can only try!
The college has a lot of support services aswell, i’m going to look at seeing a counsellor just so i can get a bit of extra support and talk about my worries etc.

My first day was so scary, but i made it!
If i can do it, you can do it too!
Be strong!

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”

Stay Strong, you’re so important and you can make it through this ❤
Love Beth xoxo

new day

Memories.

17 May

Today i went to pick my friend up from the school that i went to, i’ve never felt so sad before, all the memories just came flooding back to me, i had tears in my eyes, just thinking about how much pain that place gave me.

I’m still so upset, i can’t think of any positives that the school gave me, everything i went through there made me so ill. That is where i started self harming, that is where i walked out to go to the nearest bridge to jump off but my mum got called to come and get me.
They didn’t know what i was planning, they just saw me walk out early and got worried, so they called my Mum to get me.

That place was a horrible place, with horrible memories, and horrible people. 

It didn’t just make me sad, it made me angry too, thinking about all of the teachers there that ‘cared’ about me, well that didn’t last long, as soon as i left, they stopped caring, never called me, never asked about me ever again.
I actually went back inside today, to see if teachers asked how i was etc, but no, nothing just hi, that’s it.

I wish i could write the school a letter, tell them everything i went through during my time there, how i am now, how i can never wear short sleeves again, how i have ended up in hospital a few times due to suicide attempts. They don’t know this is all because of what i went through in their school. They don’t know who else could be going through the same things that i went through in the school. I don’t want anyone else to go through this, in that school, or in ANY school, workplace or ANYWHERE, because don’t you know, bullying doesn’t just happen to young people, it can happen to anyone, any age, any race, any religion etc. 

I hope you like this post, i just tell the truth, i’m no one special, just someone who wants to make a difference and be heard.
Nobody should go through this.


Image
Please spread this post!

What Teachers Have To Say

15 May

Hey!

So the Record Of Achievements is coming up at schools, so people are preparing, and teachers are giving advice on how to behave and how to act, dress etc.

I got told today that one teacher said that they didn’t want anyone self harming before the ROA because it will look bad for the school and the pupil. Now that has upset me so much and made me so angry!
Why should they care more about how the school looks, they should care more about the pupil and getting them help to stop the self harming!

I’m coming from a personal experience, i’ve self harmed for so long, i was self harming when i was in school and i never got the help that i needed, and i still don’t have the right help, but i’m getting through it myself.

I can’t even explain how angry i am hearing that this teacher has said this!

 

ImageI found this picture on google, because people don’t realise how hard it is to get through self harm, how alone it can make you feel, how much of a struggle it is, but we are fighters, and we are strong, and we can beat this addiction.

Please stay strong.
If you have any questions, advice, suggestions or you’d like to talk or anything please feel free to email me missbeth94@hotmail.co.uk
Also, please comment below and let me know what you think! Are you annoyed too by reading this?

Questions & Answers.

19 Mar

Hey!
So i know i’ve done a post like this before but that was a long time ago so time for a new one!

I’m going to do another question and answer blog post, so if you have any questions you want to ask me about bullying and its affects (e.g self harm, depression, anxiety etc), things about school, the support i got or the support thats available, about what’s helped me and what’s not, and anything else you can think of really!
If you can think of any questions please send them to either missbeth94@hotmail.co.uk or @Hidden_Beth and please share so that other people can see too!

Thank you!
Stay Strong

Get Connected.

18 Mar

You shouldn’t deal with anything on your own. There are so many helplines out there and so much support available, there are text services, web chat services, phone services and email services. Someone will always be there to help and support you, no matter what time of day, if one helpline isn’t open there will be another, so never feel like no one cares or like you’re going through this on your own.
 

I’m just posting about get connected who can get you in contact with some support in your area.
Speak up, don’t suffer in silence.

Get Connected is the UK’s free, confidential helpline for young people under 25 who need help and don’t know where to turn. Our service is available 365 days a year and young people can contact us by phone, webchat, email, text message or use our online directory, WebHelp 24/7.

When a young person gets in touch, one of our 100 trained Helpline Volunteers helps them explore their issues.  They offer emotional support and can let them know about appropriate sources of further specialist help from our database of 10,000 trusted organisations.

Visit www.getconnected.org.uk/get_help  for more information or call us free on 0808 808 4994

Chin Up, Don’t Let Them Know You’re Hurting.
You Can Do This. Believe In Yourself.

You Think You Know.

22 Jan

Things will get better, when?

People really don’t realise how bullying can affect you for so long. You don’t realise unless you’re going through it.
I’m not being bullied anymore but i’m struggling so much.
My depression started when i was about 15/16, and it got worse as the bullying continued. I was bullied for years before my mood started to get low, but i think it just build up over the years.

You know when you sit in a room on your own with painkillers ready to just take them just how much the bullying has affected you. That was me a few days ago, but i was able to stop myself, and then i had an emergency appointment at the doctors. I hadn’t done anything so i was just spoken to.
When your arms are just full with scars, when you can’t even look at yourself in a mirror, you think so low of yourself, if someone gives you a compliment you think they’re just lying and you just ignore them. You walk around with your head down because your confidence is so low.

And its sad when you’re going through all of this and the mental health team said they aren’t going to give you any support.

I’m working now and its going really well, they’re so supportive. But at the moment i’m actually not in work because of my health, well because of what happened with the painkillers thing. The doctor thought it was best for me to have a bit of time off.

If i could just help to raise awareness of how bullying affects you, or if maybe i could help somebody by letting them know they aren’t alone it would mean so much.
I wish i could do more to tell my story, so please, if you have an opportunity for me to tell my story, please contact me. @Hidden_Beth or missbeth94@hotmail.co.uk

Thank you
Stay Strong With Me ♥

So Glad I Did This.

17 Oct

Hey!

So a few weeks ago i started a course, it’s in Careers Wales, i’m so glad i started it! It’s only a small group which is great for me, i was scared at first but it’s great now, the people that run the course are so lovely and so supportive. We finish the course in a few weeks though and go onto work placement, i don’t want to leave now. All of the people on the course are nice too 🙂
On Monday we went on a trip to an outdoor activity centre, i did the ‘leap of faith’, it was scary but i couldn’t wait to do it! I had an amazing day and it was the best day i have had in a very long time!
I can’t wait to start work placement, i’m nervous but excited at the same time.

I feel much more confident now, so thank you to everyone that has helped me!

Stay Strong ❤

Suicide Awareness Day

10 Sep

Hey Guys!

Haven’t been on here in so long! Going to try and start coming on here more often.
Just thought i’d write a post today as it is suicide awareness day!

To anybody being bullied, please speak to someone, whether it be a teacher, family member, friend or helpline.
You are never alone, there is always someone who cares ❤

Here are some helpines:

Samaritans – www.samaritans.org

Papyrus – www.papyrus-uk.org

Cybermentors – www.cybermentors.org.uk

BulliesOut – www.bulliesout.com

Safe@Last – www.safeatlast.co.uk

ChildLine – www.childline.org.uk

Mind – www.mind.org.uk

“Be strong now because things will get better, it might be stormy now but it can’t rain forever”