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Nobody can hurt you without your permission.

21 Feb

Hey guys!
It’s been a long time since i’ve posted so this one is very much needed!
I hope you’re all doing okay, i’m sorry i’ve been so quiet, just been really busy with college! I am always here though, if you ever want me or need me, i’m only a message away ♥

I just wanted to write a post with a bit of advice really to those readers who may still be being bullied, or those who are still struggling with the bullying that was in their past.

I know how hard it is to get those comments, and how hard it is to get up everyday just knowing what you are going to have to put up with today, how hard it is to see those people who bully you, how much anger you have for them. Believe me though when i say this, in the future you will be thankful that they put you through what they did, because what they are doing is only making you stronger, and i know this may sound absolutely stupid, but take it from someone who has been there. You may feel so low and so sensitive, but when you come out of this, when all this finally stops, you will be so much stronger, and you will be such a good person, if you let yourself be. You’ve been through this pain, you can say “i don’t want anyone else to go through that” and you can be such a kind person, not judge anyone and not say a bad word to or about anyone, i know right now you won’t be able to see any positive in what you are going through, what you are going through shouldn’t be happening, and more needs to be done to stop it.

Those names they call you, they aren’t true, you’re beautiful, everyone is beautiful, everyone is unique, don’t listen to what they have to say, do they even know you? Have they been your friend, do they know what you are like? Or have they just judged you and decided it would be fun to make your life miserable? I still don’t understand how these people can do this, i mean.. why would you want to call somebody names so that they feel so bad about themselves that they want to change.. they don’t feel good enough for anyone anymore.. i just don’t get it.. I know people say it’s because they have their own problems or that they have low confidence about themselves but.. no i still don’t understand,

Believe me when i say you are good enough, you deserve to be happy, you deserve a great future full of happiness and nothing like this. I know it’s hard at the moment, but things get better, and i really do mean that! I’ve been in your shoes, i’ve been so low that i didn’t want to be alive, i’ve starved myself because these people told me i was fat, so i needed to change right? WRONG! We don’t need to change ourselves, these people will never like us and will never be our friends, so why should we change ourselves for them? We’re great just the way we are, and anyway.. nobody is perfect, not even them!

Just remember guys, you do matter and you are so important!
And things will get better, the future is bright although you may not be able to see the light yet ♥

I’m always thinking of you guys, and i’m only a message away,
Stay Strong,
Beth xxxx

Try To Understand.

10 Feb

As a victim of bullying i’ve had people tell me a lot of different things to do or not to do. Some people don’t understand some of the things they shouldn’t say to victims of bullying, so i’m writing this to help them understand.

“Just ignore them, they’ll stop soon” – Don’t tell any victim of bullying this because it doesn’t matter how long the bullying lasts, it has emotional affects and the person being bullied should not just ignore them, they should go and get help from someone, whether it be a teacher, friend, family member.
“Don’t tell anyone about it because it will make it worse” – This is a lie, telling someone you are being bullied can help stop the bullying and can make you feel less alone and it can be a relief knowing you have someone you can tell, if the bullying ever gets worse more should be done to stop the bullies.
“Fight back” – If you fight back you will get into trouble too.
“Don’t show them that it is affecting you” – Do you know how hard this is? I’ve tried this. I went through  a year of doing this, it doesn’t work, and it is far from easy, if someone calls you ugly can you pretend not to care? I know that this CAN be affective sometimes but it is so hard to do.

Some things you can do:
– Keep a diary of what happens to you and show it to a teacher at the end of every week or at the end of everyday.
– Tell a teacher, they can speak to the bullies and help stop them.
– Make sure other teachers know so that they can keep an eye out for anything happening.
– Ask about counselling to help you deal with the emotional side of what is happening.
– You can get advice from other people that have been through bullying and see what helped them deal with it.
– If the bullies aren’t stopping speak to the headteacher.
– When out of school you can speak to helplines, they can give you advice on what to do.

Stay strong, don’t let them break you.

You Are Not Alone. Some Statistics.

6 Feb

You are never going through this alone. So many other people are going through it too.

Bullying in school.
– 69% of children in the UK report being bullied
– 87% of  parents report that their child had been bullied in the past 12 months
– 85% had witnessed bullying
– It is estimated that at  least 20 children and adolescents a  year commit suicide because of being bullied
– 1 in 3 young people  who experience bullying truant from school
– 20,000 young people  truant everyday as a result of bullying
(Statistics from Beatbullying.org)

And it isn’t just children and young people being bullied..

Bullying in the workplace
– 18.9 million working days are lost each year as a direct result of workplace bullying
– More than two million people at work consider themselves as being bullied
– 43.5% of employers do not have a policy to deal with workplace bullying
– 82.2% say that weakness in management is the prime reason for bullying
(Statistics from personneltoday.com)

These statistics might even be wrong because a lot of people keep quiet about bullying, or don’t think that they are being bullied when really they are.

Bullying leads to suicide, self harm, eating disorders, people running away and lots of other problems. When is it going to stop?

Stay Strong.
You are better than the bullies.

“Get Over It.”

16 Jan

Someone told me to “Get over it” when i told them about the bullying, i thought maybe of putting them into the situation of being me and all the other victims of bullying and then see if maybe they’d realise you can’t just get over it, it’s not that easy. If one day we could just wake up and decide to be happy don’t you think we would do this.

Do you think being called fat at least once a day for at least a year that you’d just be able to forget about it? Do you not think that this would change the way that person looked at themself and how much they eat or don’t eat..
After being called ugly so much do you think you can just forget someone ever said that to you? Is it easy to get your confidence back after someone has said this to you for so long?
Is it easy to just put someone’s comments behind you if it is still happening? If your confidence is still being lowered how is it possible to build it back up, i know maybe if you took yourself out of the situation it would be easier but you’d still never get over it.
After being told it would be good if you were dead would you not feel alone and not wanted?
Do you think if someone tries to trip you over everyday maybe you might start walking with your head down to make sure they don’t trip you up?
Do you not think you’d be scared to go into public incase you see these people?
Do you not think this would change your life and your view of other people?

Do you not realise what this could do to someone, how calling someone fat could cause an eating disorder, how telling someone they’re better off dead could cause a suicide.

As someone who has been through all of this and is still going through it i’m going to speak for other victims of bullying, i want my voice to be heard. I want to speak for other victims of bullying and i want bullying to be stopped.

They can break us down but we will stand together.
Please help me get my voice heard. Share this? Just please help me get this seen. Thank you.

Hold Onto Your Self Esteem.

7 Jan

Bullying is a big cause of eating disorders. Beat interviewed more than 600 young adults suffering from anorexia, bulimia or binge eating. Ninety one percent of these teens said they had been bulled, and almost half said they believed that bullying had contributed to their eating disorder.

“Bullying lowers your self-esteem and having low self esteem is a really big risk factor for an eating disorder developing,”

When you call someone fat so many times they’ll start to believe it.

Some people find that eating disorders give them some sort of control over something, and also they may see this as a way to stop the bullying if they bullies are saying that they are fat.
I was called fat, and i have problems with eating, i haven’t actually been diagnosed with an eating disorder but i’ve lost a lot of weight since they started calling me fat.

Beat provides helplines, online support and a network of UK-wide self-help groups to help adults and young people in the UK beat their eating disorders. http://www.b-eat.co.uk/

Don’t let them break you down.
Stay strong and hold your head high.

We’re Still Human.

12 Dec

To judge someone is to think you know them before you’ve even spoken to them and to think that you see it the right way, when you probably don’t. Everyone does it, even if you try not to you still can’t help doing it.

People are judged because of their appearence, name, taste in music, clothes, their hair colour, skin colour, for being quiet, for being loud, age, background, their past, job, and so much more.
What someone looks like doesn’t define who they are, if someone has ginger hair it doesn’t mean they are any different to you.
You can never be perfect, you’re judged for being too quiet, judged for being too loud, for being too skinny or too fat. Nobody is perfect.

-You shouldn’t judge someone because of what they do because you don’t know why they do it.
-“You laugh because you think i’m different, i laugh because you guys are all the same”

Judging someone and treating them differently because you judged them isn’t going to make you a better person. Everyone is human and everyone has feelings that can be hurt.

You can’t judge someone because of their past, you can’t understand what someone has been through or what someone has done unless you’ve been in the same situation.
I left school because of bullying and people judge me for it, they just think i left school because i was too lazy and they think i can’t be bothered to do anything else. They don’t bother to ask me they just think they know the real reason.

Don’t Judge & Don’t Bully.
Together We Can End Bullying.

Why Bully?

11 Dec

“Everyone will get bullied sometime in his or her lifetime”

I could never hurt someone else, i could never say something horrible to someone so many times that they believe it, or so many times that they loose all the confidence they had in themselves.

There are so many reasons why people bully but they usually only bully around other people so they nearly always have an audience, which makes the bully feel more ‘popular’ and ‘cool’.
Some people bully because they are upset with themselves so they bully others to make them feel the same as them, and they think this might make them happier with themselves. Or they may be jealous of the person they bully.

Role models have a big part in bullying, if someone’s role model is seen bullying someone then the person may think it is ok to do the same, which is the same with TV/Movies if there is fighting, children don’t know it’s acting so they might think it is ok to do.

There are so many other reasons.
Bullying needs to be stopped.

Together We Can Stop Bullying.

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