My Story

To read my story in more detail than the one below, with more info click the link! >>Β https://underneathmymask.wordpress.com/2012/02/29/my-story-4/

This blog is to tell my story and raise awareness of what bullying puts people through. I’m telling my story to help other victims of bullying know that they are never going through this alone.

I’ve been bullied for 6 years, and i’m still fighting to get through it, but now with the add on of being depressed and very anxious, Because of the bullying i started to hurt myself, all because of what these bullies did and said to me. I’ve been in therapy for a long time, i got told once that i have to accept what has happened to me, but i can’t because i know that it shouldn’t of happened to me, and it shouldn’t happen to anyone.

They called me fat, so i stopped eating properly, i’m not actually fat, but i just wanted to get to a point where they would stop saying that i was fat. They called me ugly so i changed the way i look and dress, sometimes when i look at myself in a mirror i cry because they’ve torn apart my self confidence, i walk with my head down because i’m scared i’ll see them, or they’ll see me, and also because i got used to them trying to trip me up, so i had to always look at the floor to jump over their feet.
These people said to me that it would be good if i died, because of this comment and everything else they had done and said i became suicidal.
I always wonder what it would be like if i wasn’t bullied, would i be happy? confident?

Even though i’ve been through this i wouldn’t change my past at all, it has made me who i am today, and i’m happy with the way i treat people because i am so accepting, and i’ll be friends with anyone. I’d never hurt anyone because i know what its like to be hurt.

It hurts so much to have to pretend you don’t care about what they say to you or when you get told to just ‘ignore them’ its easier said than done.

“Stick and stones may break my bones but just your words could kill me”

Thank you bullies, you made me a better person.

13 Responses to “My Story”

  1. purple pineapple August 27, 2011 at 12:31 am #

    It breaks my heart to hear stories like yours. I hate that you have to deal with this. Yes, I don’t know you and this is my 1st time here, but I want you to know that these people who are treating you like this are not worth anything in this world. They are the ones with the problems. I am also a Sh’er and trying to figure my world out. It’s not easy, but talking/writing about things really help. Please keep your head high and know that you’re not alone. πŸ™‚

    • hiddenbeth August 27, 2011 at 10:26 am #

      Hey πŸ™‚
      Thank you for your comment *hug*
      I know they’re the ones with the problems, I don’t see how people could be so horrible to people they hardly even know :/ they must have nothing better to do.
      I agree that talking/writing helps, always here for a chat if you want one ❀ xx

      • purple pineapple August 27, 2011 at 8:38 pm #

        There’s obvously something very profound going on inside of them (that probably has nothing to do with you), but they are taking it out on you. Where you (and I and most SH’ers) internalize our feelings, these bullies externalize them and get gratification from making other people feel badly about themselves.

        I’m sickened that this is going on in your school, and no one is doing anything about it to help you. I’m glad though that you’re writing about it, and getting those feelings out instead of keeping them inside where they don’t belong.

        Same to you πŸ™‚

  2. Shauna Smith December 13, 2011 at 1:30 am #

    Im so sorry about you being bullied for so long. It really does serious damage. My daughter has been bullied for 4 years and I finally went to the school and had them put a stop to most of it.. but it will always be there.. I was bullied a lot through my school career as well and it really does change who you are.. I had to go through a lot of therapy to get my life straightened out, it takes a lot of time and work so be patient!! Be open and honest with your therapist about everything, if you feel you can’t then find another therapist, even tho they are nice people and supportive you have to decide if they are right for you. I wish you all the best in your recovery.. Just know that YOU CAN DO IT! Happiness is within you you just have to find it.. πŸ™‚

    • hiddenbeth January 5, 2012 at 8:12 pm #

      I’m sorry to hear that you and your daughter both went through bullying but i’m glad you went to the school to get it stopped, i hope this worked.
      I am open and honest with my therapist, i love her, she’s amazing, so i don’t really understand why it’s not working, but i’m going to keep trying πŸ™‚ xx

  3. pierrot307 December 16, 2011 at 4:48 pm #

    i found myself in your story… i have been bullied 6 years too. i was called “freak, monster, abnormal thing” and so on… i am 24 now but it still IS within my heart.
    To help others i am studying social work and i hope i can change the world just a little bit. Never will i understand why people do such things. i hope you can life happier today…

    best wishes!

    • hiddenbeth January 5, 2012 at 8:13 pm #

      So sorry to hear you were bullied, the affects of it may never really go away but it makes us stronger and a better person πŸ™‚
      I also want to study social work!
      Thank you xx

  4. Linda January 4, 2012 at 11:06 pm #

    I was also bullied throughout my school years and developed an eating disorder which lasted until I was in my 30’s. When my youngest son was bullied, enough was enough and I set up BulliesOut to provide help and support to those who need us. Our Mentors are online from 5pm, Mon-Fri if you need to chat.

    Being bullied does change who you are and as Shauna says, it takes time and patience to sort things out.

    Stay strong and always remember you are the better person. Believe in yourself and love the strong, unique person you are.

    • hiddenbeth January 5, 2012 at 8:15 pm #

      I’m so sorry to hear you were bullied and that led to you developing an eating disorder. I’m so glad that you got something good out of your experience.
      I love your website, i go on it a lot, if i can ever help just let me know, i’d love to help with it!

      Thank you πŸ™‚ xx

  5. angel2angel January 30, 2012 at 8:02 am #

    sadly the ignore them and they will soon give up or go away is not going to happen, as bullying effects so many people in so many ways, your story is so very sad, yet you show such strength by not just giving up or giving into these people who seem to take such delight in grouping together and picking on another persons looks, likes, sexuality, clothing choice or religion, bullies and their actions do have long term effects. If it was as simple as ignore them, then we would see far less kids out there committing suicide, self harm or turning to drugs and other substances to simply find some kind of release or escape from the taunting comments or jeering behavior of a group of small minded individuals who grow up an enter the adult world as simply adult bullies. Why they do it? is beyond me, yet shrinks and the likes of social behavior specialists will continue to find reasons for this behavior, as they constantly blame it on things like the persons up bringing, family life, etc. The fact is that this kind of behavior is not only unfair, unjust, but it is also morally wrong, in a world that is hard enough to understand fathom, and to live in without these kinds of morons making things harder.

    • Erika February 17, 2012 at 11:38 pm #

      I remember being told that one day I’d look back and not care about the things people said. How with hindsight I’d laugh. I also remember the despair I felt at hearing that. ‘One fine day’ everything would be okay?! I’d just have to wait for it to roll around and nothing could usher it in any quicker. I felt utterly lost, for a very long time.

      Does it get better? Yes, bullies are outgrown and left far, far behind. The damage they do can take a little longer to right, but righted it can and will be. Even so that’s not good enough. Too many people spend too long feeling like outcasts, waiting for the day that they find acceptance and make peace with themselves.

      If the internet and social media is good for anything then it’s for saying “you’re not alone”, and it’s there for support when someone is brave enough to stand up and say enough is enough.

      You’re not alone. You’re making it get better now and that, let’s face it, is rather bloody impressive.

      Good luck with your endeavours. Go be glorious.

  6. Vanessa Chapman March 13, 2012 at 10:34 pm #

    Hello lovely, I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger award. Don’t feel obliged to do anything more than just accept it as a compliment! You do a great job here, keep it up πŸ˜‰ Details here: http://vanessa-chapman.com/2012/03/13/the-versatile-blogger-award/

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  1. underneathmymask | Tiffany GDNM - February 10, 2012

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